Tonight, I sat at home alone. My amazing husband was out with our wonderful Freedom House Young Adults tonight. Normally, I would be thrilled. I would be able to watch Dancing with the Stars in complete peace knowing Dave wasn't internally cringing with every dance step. He is wonderful because he sacrifices his joy, for my dancing pleasure.
Tonight, something was different. My heart ached. I wasn't satisfied with my dancing show. I longed for depth, a connection with something or someone. I felt empty. Lonely. It was different than just missing Dave. It tugged at my heart. I tried to fill it with my dancing show, Facebook and You Tube...and for a good solid hour and a half I worked hard at ignoring the ache. Still not getting the hint.
Finally, I began my search for worship music. Took me long enough to figure out that one. And now I didn't want something "fluffy". I tried that in my original attempts to distract myself. Eventually, I came to "Mighty Breath of God" by Jesus Culture. An amazing song!
I too wanted to dance tonight. I wanted to connect with something deeper than myself. I wanted to feed my spirit and soul. It dawned on me that I was looking for Him. The only thing I have ever found that has truly satisfied the ache, that has quenched the thirst...is worship with my Lord, Jesus Christ. Spending time thinking about Him, loving Him, listening to Him, praising Him for what He has sacrificially given to me on the Cross. When I worship Him and shut out my thoughts, my desires, focusing solely on Him...it is then that I truly dance, for my spirit is free with Him. Free to be who I am, free of burdens, guilt, shame, lies that I believe about myself. His spirit comes and empowers me, refreshes deep within me, gives me strength to deal with my sin.
He loves me.
When I choose to dance with Him in worship that acknowledges Him as Lord, I can experience pure intimacy, and a pure free inhibited dance. It is a spirit to spirit dance with the One I love.
He changes our focus when we encounter Him in a deeper way. When we struggle, when we fail, when our hearts are heavy, He lifts our heads up.
You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!
Psalm 30:11 -12
Tonight I chose to listen to the longing of my spirit and soul and I am refreshed.
A wise young lady, Rebbecca, posted on her Facebook status today....
Be still. Know. He is God.
*The ache inside is really for You*