Apr 4, 2011

You turned my wailing into dancing!

Tonight, I sat at home alone. My amazing husband was out with our wonderful Freedom House Young Adults tonight. Normally, I would be thrilled. I would be able to watch Dancing with the Stars in complete peace knowing Dave wasn't internally cringing with every dance step. He is wonderful because he sacrifices his joy, for my dancing pleasure.

Tonight, something was different. My heart ached. I wasn't satisfied with my dancing show. I longed for depth, a connection with something or someone. I felt empty. Lonely. It was different than just missing Dave. It tugged at my heart. I tried to fill it with my dancing show, Facebook and You Tube...and for a good solid hour and a half I worked hard at ignoring the ache. Still not getting the hint.

Finally, I began my search for worship music. Took me long enough to figure out that one. And now I didn't want something "fluffy". I tried that in my original attempts to distract myself. Eventually, I came to "Mighty Breath of God" by Jesus Culture. An amazing song!

I too wanted to dance tonight. I wanted to connect with something deeper than myself. I wanted to feed my spirit and soul. It dawned on me that I was looking for Him. The only thing I have ever found that has truly satisfied the ache, that has quenched the thirst...is worship with my Lord, Jesus Christ. Spending time thinking about Him, loving Him, listening to Him, praising Him for what He has sacrificially given to me on the Cross. When I worship Him and shut out my thoughts, my desires, focusing solely on Him...it is then that I truly dance, for my spirit is free with Him. Free to be who I am, free of burdens, guilt, shame, lies that I believe about myself. His spirit comes and empowers me, refreshes deep within me, gives me strength to deal with my sin.

He loves me.

When I choose to dance with Him in worship that acknowledges Him as Lord, I can experience pure intimacy, and a pure free inhibited dance. It is a spirit to spirit dance with the One I love.

He changes our focus when we encounter Him in a deeper way. When we struggle, when we fail, when our hearts are heavy, He lifts our heads up.

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!
Psalm 30:11 -12

Tonight I chose to listen to the longing of my spirit and soul and I am refreshed.

A wise young lady, Rebbecca, posted on her Facebook status today....

Be still. Know. He is God.
*The ache inside is really for You*

Aug 6, 2010

The Way to Life

We all have a circle of influence. People are always watching, taking note of who we are by how we function and the choices we make.

Sometimes our choices need correction. How do you respond when you are corrected or disciplined?

We have come to accept that children should be disciplined and corrected for their negative choices. It is a necessary part of their growth in becoming productive members of society. In fact, as parents we are judged upon it. Too little, too much... it is all evaluated.

When we are adults, the volume of discipline/correction of our actions drastically dwindles. We have the freedom to create our social circles. We can choose to "allow" few (if any) people to speak truth into our lives. Even then, many of us put up boundaries of how far they can go. We have an "image" to preserve.

I am of the mindset that none of us are perfect, but that there is always room to grow. In order to grow and become a better version of ourselves, we need to have trustworthy people in our lives who can speak truth with love and boldness to our actions and attitudes in life.

You know the old saying, "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose?"
This MIGHT not be true.

Boogers. They are green and gross. They sometimes hang unassumingly on the outer rim of our nose. You don't know it's there, but everyone else sees it and are repulsed by it. If you knew, it would immediately be taken care of. Unless someone comes to your aid and speaks up, it could be there for a very long embarrassing time. Is it not the same about the growth of our character?

When someone corrects us, it's not easy to hear and can be initially offensive and embarrassing. But I ask you, what is more important? Ignoring correction and help from someone so you can live oblivious to the pain you cause yourself and others OR heeding discipline to show the way of life to others? Either way you make an imprint on yourself and others. You have to count the cost, is it worth it?

"He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray."
Proverbs 10:17

Dec 29, 2009

I am the drum line

Everyone knows, and can see, that music invokes a response from us. Whether it is a healthy or destructive response, music reaches inside of us and pulls out what we desire to be passionate about in that moment. Its created for that purpose and different people respond to different types of music.

Over the years, I have appreciated many different styles of music. However, I have realized that I am mostly drawn to anything with a good beat. It causes something in me to want to react to it. One part of me is a bit feisty and somewhat of a fighter. I am not a physical fighter...I don't beat people up.

That being said, I won't back down from an argument either...my husband can attest to that! I don't often roll over and let someone walk all over me. During my 15th and 16th year...I found myself in a confrontational season of life at high school, at home and with God. On one occasion a girl from high school gathered her friends, surrounded me and attempted to intimidate me verbally, in hopes that I would end my “relationship” with a guy. Most girls would have sheepishly said nothing...not I. I stood up for myself and was a little ballsy. I threw in a few smart comments in to my “conversation” with them. Like I said...a bit feisty.

Having a bit of that feisty quality in me, I find I enjoy music that stirs up the fighter within me. Thankfully through loving Jesus, He has been able to channel that in a healthy way for me. It has been wonderful with working out many different feelings with God. It has worked well with how I pray and how I worship. Lots of worship music stirs my spirit...but nothing more instantly like a loud drum line or African drum beat in a song. It stirs up the warrior in me. The warrior who wants to battle injustice, contend for freedom for everyone, break through to be a better me. It's important to know ourselves. To know why we make the choices we do. I like drum lines and African drum beats....because I am feisty...because I am a fighter...because I am a warrior. What about you?

Oct 27, 2009

Bustin' A Move!

I have always been somewhat fearful of dancing and yet, at the same time, there has always been a deep desire within me to bust out and get my funky groove on.

I've always been drawn to tv, movies and songs that allow me live out my dancing dreams through other people. I spent many hours as a young girl dancing in my bedroom. I have also sat on the sideline at many family weddings, wishing I had the courage to be free and not care what other people thought of my dance moves. For many years I just focused on the physicality of dancing...how to move my feet, my hips, my arms. And that always scared the beegeebees out of me!

But now, in my 32nd year of living, my views of dance have been changing. I can now see more clearly the similarities between dance and life...with God and people. Dance incorporates trust, intimacy, unity, vulnerability, strength, joy, peace and laughter. All the things I desire in my relationships with people and my God.

I am on a journey with God. We have been dancing the waltz of life together for years. We have been developing our style, and I have been learning to let Him lead. As all of this has been happening with Him, my freedom has grown and has been seen in my physical life.

And wouldn't you know it...I have even busted a move on a few dance floors!